The Escape
by xXGagaGirlXx
Summary: “Charlotte.” Madonna raised her voice, “Open that door now or-” her eyes flickered over to the small window at the top of the wall, “I’ll climb out of that window and never come back.” One-shot inspired by a random word generator and Kate XD


"Mads don't be like that with me!" Charlotte whined clinging onto her girlfriend's index and middle finger in a childish manner as she tried to walk away. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Lotte, let go of me!" Madonna requested, snatching her hand from the girl sitting on the ground and making a move for the open door. "Just leave me alone will you?"

"Shan't!" Charlotte stood up and stealthily crept next to the door, slamming it shut and standing against it in a guarded position. "Now you have no choice but to stay here and make up with me!"

Madonna raised an eyebrow in amusement, biting down on her bottom lip and kicking at the floor with the end of her boot. "Open the door."

Charlotte crossed her arms across her chest and pushed herself back harder into the closed door.

"Charlotte." Madonna raised her voice, "Open that door now or-" her eyes flickered over to the small window at the top of the wall, "I'll climb out of that window and never come back."

Charlotte shuffled against the door as she sized up the window in her head. "You wouldn't fit." She decided, though the meekness in her voice made it evident she wasn't entirely sure.

"Well there's only one way to find out." Madonna struggled as she pulled at the metal grid that covered the window. As Charlotte watched on in part horror, part bewilderment Madonna finally broke the grid free, throwing it angrily down to the ground but realising as it echoed around the empty room that her escape wasn't having the desired dramatic effect. "Here I go!" she insisted, "Aren't you even going to say goodbye to me Lottie?" she teased, looking over her shoulder as she heaved her weight up to the window with her arms.

"Goodbye Madonna." Charlotte recited in a tired voice, now even more sure that the girl wouldn't fit through the thin space.

Madonna poked her arms and head through the gap, kicking her legs as she wriggled her shoulders and chest out into the open air. The ground outside was slippery mud, making it difficult for her to find anything to grab a firm hold onto.

Charlotte's eyes widened as she realised that Madonna was actually disappearing into the open. "Mads, come back!" she pleaded, "It's not funny anymore…" she stepped over to her lovers dangling torso and legs and wrapped her arms around one of the kicking shins. "I'm sorry, I _really_ didn't mean it."

"That might be a problem 'Lotte." Madonna's voice was muffled but Charlotte could still pick up the distinct concerned tone. Her body wiggled aggressively, "Dude, I'm stuck."

Charlotte laughed nervously and pulled on Madonna's legs lightly. "Don't be silly, you got in there, I'm sure you can get out." though once again her voice gave away her uncertainty.

"You're going to have to pull me out." Madonna instructed, kicking her legs in the direction of the now panicking girl. Charlotte caught hold of them and tugged to no avail.

"It's not working!" Charlotte called to her, "It's your stupid boobs, they're too big."

"I'll remember that next time we-OUCH!" Charlotte had given another hard tug on her girlfriend's legs.

"It's no good Mads, I'm going to have to ask someone to help."

"No!" Madonna pleaded, "Don't make this any more humiliating." As she heard the door click she let her body hang limp and rested her chin on the soft mud beneath her, her arms stretched out in front of her.

"Charlotte?" Madonna heard the door open. "Is that you?"

"Madonna's legs, why are you hanging out of a wall?" Cliff Richard questioned the tartan skinny jeans. Madonna felt her heart sink, of all the people in all the situations…

"Alright Cliff," she shouted back to him. "Just catching a bit of fresh air, y'know, nothing to worry about, y'can just leave me to it."

"Where's Houdini?" Brit's voice washed over Cliff Richard's confused twittering. Madonna kicked her legs in reply and felt Charlotte's reassuring hand stroke the top of her thigh. "Okay lady, step aside." Brit flexed his muscled arms in preparation and rubbed his hands together, taking a foot in each hand and leaning back with all his strength.

Madonna ceased to move.

"I think we're going to need some backup…" Brit' decided, "Cliff, go and round up the others."

"Nooo," Madonna howled, "Why does everyone have to witness this?"

"Because you were stupid enough to try and escape out of the window?" Charlotte muttered, just quietly enough so that Madonna didn't hear.

Moments later the room was filled with commotion as everyone pushed their way in, eager to get a glance at the mysteriously floating legs of Madonna.

"Here's what we're going to do." Britney Spears instructed everyone, "I'll take hold of Madonna's legs and then Big Macca will take hold of my waist and then Prince will take hold of his and so on until we're all in a long line. Then on my count we'll all pull."

"What if we pull so hard her legs fall off?" Cheeky Fairy giggled, setting a look of panic on poor Charlotte's face.

"Then we'll send someone up to the surface to pick up her top half and we can reattach the two pieces together with a needle and thread." Pop chuckled.

"Okay everyone?" Brit called across the Bohemians, who promptly began to line up behind him. "One, two, three, PULL!"

"Cliff, you're not pulling, you're just hugging me."  
"Meat, they're my boobs not my waist."  
"Pop, that's disgusting; couldn't you have worn a belt?"  
"Jackson, you need a firmer grip, you're tickling me!"  
"Aretha, stop looking so concerned, she's screaming with excitement, not pain."

"Oof!"

"Madonna!" as the Bohemian's all fell backwards a red faced Madonna, whose nose and forehead had scraped through the mud as she'd been pulled stood up, finally free from the clutches of the window. Charlotte rushed over to her and flung her arms around the girl's waist, clinging to her tightly as Madonna wiped her nose with her cotton arm-warmer.

"Good work guys!" Brit congratulated the team.

"Yeah, thanks…" Madonna looked sheepishly up at her friends who were all panting heavily. She frowned, "Oh come on, I don't weigh that much!"

Charlotte looked up at her, "I was right though… about you not fitting through that window." A sly smile crept on her face as Madonna gave her a rough peck on the lips. "But you know I hate to say I told you so."

"You love to say I told you so." Madonna interjected.

"I do." Charlotte grinned, "I told you so!"


End file.
